My Stiff Neck Is Making It Hard To Swallow

I book a hotel in Rome! The law of commuters


Starring: the formidable marketing director Cungi (100 pounds of fat taken with arrogance and vulgarity), the secretary Marisa thin, ugly, humble and fragile, indeed, submissive.

Cungi: MARISAAAAAAAA (with scream ogre. The phone, in fact, in companies, is used only for communications on an equal footing. To call the subject will emit guttural screaming satanic verses and terrifying)

Marisa (breathlessly): Arrival Director!

Cungi: I immediately book a hotel in Rome on Thursday and Friday.

Marisa: Yes Director.

spent five minutes ...

Marisa: Here's director, I booked usual, the Bell Hotel

spend short but interminable seconds of silence and tension ...

Cungi: (assuming color purple) COOOOOOOOSSSAAAA? HOTEL BELL?? SAY WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK DO IT? BUT HER NAME? E 'UN HOTEL MERDAAAAAAAAAA. BELL WANTS TO SEND ME .... COL CAZZOOOOOOOO
I will not set foot inside. I'll give you five minutes to come back here with a list of other hotels. IF YOU DO NOT KNOW HIS WORK THEN I will! ECCHECAZZO, ALL I HAVE TO DO HERE IN.

Marisa: Excuse me Sir ... but she has always said that the Hotel Campanella was the best, the book is always there, and I .......

Cungi: FUORIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

They spend another five minutes ...

Marisa (voice trembling): Here is the director. Here's the list. I put the best hotels in Rome ...

spend more short but interminable seconds of silence and tension.

Cungi (red to purple) AND WHAT THE FUCK 'STA LISTAAAAAAAAAA?? BUT SHE HAS NO BRAIN! BUT HOW DO YOU ACCORDING TO A LIST OF RIVER TO KNOW WHERE ARE SHIT STI HOTELS?? You can not do anything! N - I - E - N - T - E!!
take me a map of Rome scored above the points where are the hotels to choose from. It 's so that you do. AND NOW THAT ' URGENTE!

Marisa torna al suo posto. Reprime le lacrime. Prende una mappa di Roma e comincia pazientemente con un pennarello a segnare con dei puntini i vari hotel.
Eseguito il lavoro torna, con la solita aria da condannata a morte, dal temibile direttore Cungio.

Marisa: Ecco direttore, le ho portato la mappa con segnati gli hotel

Trascorrono ancora altri brevi e interminabili attimi di silenzio e tensione.

Cungio: .... AH, BENE, ECCO. Mi faccia vedere. STIA LI, ASPETTI. Allora.... uhm.... questo no, troppo in centro. Questo no, troppo in periferia. Questo no... troppo a sud. Questo no... troppo a nord. Questo no... strada trafficata. Quest’atro no... ma dove cazzo lo hanno fatto?. Questo poi manco a parlarne, ci sono sicuramente gli zingari vicino. Questo no... lontano dall’aereoporto. Uhm..... Ecco, si, questo. (indicando con il suo ditone grasso). Questo si che va bene. Questo è perfetto CAZZO. Marisa, prenotiamo questo. Subito. Una bella suite. Qual’è? Come si chiama?

Marisa (pronunciando mentalmente il proprio testamento): Si chiama... ehm...direttore.... è.... E’ l’hotel Campanella..... Direttore...


polonegativo

Whiteheads Spots On The Labia

Nonostante la musica a palla per preservarmi da dibatti GrandeFratelleschi e su fidanzati inadempienti colgo questo stralcio di conversazione:

Amica 1: Ho iniziato a leggere I Miserabili perchè is one of those classics that should be read at all. Except that I go a bit 'slow because ....( ago eloquent gesture of person who cuts the veins)

Friend 2: It was torn?

... Then the music starts saving

Ikusa Atome Valkyrie 2

Best Seller

-Yesterday I went to see the reading of Amman

-I did not know you liked Ammaniti

-Yes, very.

-What have you read?

-Well actually I've only seen one of his films. And I did not like. But I bought the book because I think it's very good.

BH

How Long Does Acute Hiv Rash Last

The meeting



within the office and soon after completing my ritual mainly based on daily coffee-bathroom-Gazette (the order you choose) I try to concentrate on my daily tasks.

While the corridors are beginning to come alive Lotus tells me that a meeting is scheduled today. The aim is to meet (and I quote "an expert in portal and collaboration solutions in a XXXX. The person is thick, has a practical and theoretical skills of the highest caliber. I think it is an occasion to occasion for a good standard with the outside. "While I wonder about the real significance of the meeting (the confrontation with the outside is an excuse that I can not take seriously), I agree that the meeting is set from 10:00 to 17:00. I am sure it is a mistake in planning, but are still concerned about the day that I had imagined calm and sleepy.

At 10:05 I come to the meeting room by making use of corporate unwritten law that those arriving late is not a boor, but only one that is "really overwhelmed" (actually I was at coffee with colleagues).

With great amazement that I am between:

4 people in my company (IT and all Blackberry-equipped) 7 people
incravattate XXXX company with all Apple laptop turned on and ready to write brief, feedback and minures.

only thing missing is my boss - poor thing - it must be really overwhelmed.

After a few minutes of introduction I will clarify the strategy meeting. The conditions are:

Our company needs the product XXXXX
IT company has pre-agreement with YYYYY to do to buy his product marketing XXXX.
IT needs the approval of the Marketing.

This meeting is to show the potential of marketing the product but will be conducted so that the marketing will not understand anything that you may make objections. On the other hand, the marketing will not buy any other type of product, because whatever you choose IT as Abbagnale remer against the good old days and the company will never have what they need.

Now that I understand my role I focus on my goals: •
go as smooth as possible in the way these 7 h. Meeting
• Make sure your company's product XXXX YYYY there is at least one of the things that need marketing (otherwise undergo a pistolotto by my boss about my roles and responsibilities) •
ready to climb on the bandwagon as soon as possible of what will be the winner (IT)

While mulling over these things enter my head: no longer alone! Now I have an important management support and I decide that the first break, I will reveal what the suspect.

Meanwhile part of the meeting, the person of the company's marketing YYYY esordisce cosi: “Ho preparato una ventina di slide di introduzione. Mi spiace che sono in inglese ma....(pausa di incertezza) io le faccio sempre così”.

Un moto di disgusto mi attraversa il corpo. Metto il cervello in stand by e cerco di ricordare il calendario della prossima domenica di seria A per approntare una strategia fantacalcistica.

Nel frattempo il blackberry del mio capo suona, lui risponde e poi mette giù. Si alza in piedi, emette qualche suono gutturale e bofonchia scuse (ehe andare uhmm interessante..si si peccato ma ci sentiamo) e se ne va. Sono di nuovo solo.

Nel frattempo prende finalmente la parola l’esperto di portal e soluzioni di collaboration, che inizia la sua parte. As he opened his file I drop on the eye to slide num: 89! I feel faint, my head hurts, the bladder is inflated (but no one should never piss ????), do drawings on the block, I watch the game Arkanoid (rooting for the bricks) and a colleague of mine is doing on his blackberry. I try to count the number of words in English that the expert portal and collaboration solutions says, after a few dozen maa I labor, and stop.

After many hours, several lines of IT experts that I pretend to understand, ilazioni the desires of the varied kind of marketing and those of their mental blowjobs ends the presentation of expert portal and collaboration solutions.

'm pissed nero: ho perso tutti i treni utili, salterò metà della cena che avevo in programma e domani dovrò fare tutto il lavoro che non sono riuscito a fare oggi. Ma mentre spengo il pc alla mia postazione esce il capo dall’ufficio e sorridente mi dice “Ah già finito? Aspetta che faccio una telefonata e mi racconti”.

Da bravo burattino mi siedo e aspetto.

Billy H.

Americast Vs. Cast Iron Tub

The Conference on Digital Signage



Se il mondo aziendale è il regno del non senso e il marketing è il riassunto del nulla, la partecipazione a un Convegno è la sublimazione assoluta del vuoto.

L’altra settimana ho avuto l’onore di partecipare a un convegno sul Digital Signage. Do not ask me what the fuck is why I do not know, nor care. But I'm working on for quite some time and I had a great figure with my head showing an interest to participate in the thing.

goes without saying that a course or conference will be only for three reasons:
1) See if there pussy
2) Eating a latch
3) Spend a day out of the office of shit

E ' with these solid reasons why I got up at 6 am and I put my ass on a filthy Trenitalia's Intercity to Milan. After the usual trip air-conditioned to -10 degrees and the usual delay I arrived at the prestigious Hotel just in time to listen il primo relatore.

Ben lungi da me l’idea di concentrarmi sulle presentazioni ho cominciato a esplorare attentamente la sala.
Tutti uomini! Ma porc.... e le famose belle ragazze milanesi? Tre o quattro al massimo e già ampiamente circondate da serissimi manager in abito scuro.
Disastro.
Tanti anni fuori da Milano mi hanno fatto perdere smalto. I manager Milanesi sono tutti inappuntabili, attentissimi e carichissimi. Io ho la faccia di cartone, rispetto a loro sono vestito come un diciottenne e il mio cervello ha la stessa capacità di concentrazione di una scimmia che salta da un ramo all’altro nella giungla...
Lo so che loro, nel loro intimo, stanno pensando “che palle” esattamente come me. But do not give to see and, I must admit, if they pull it from great professionals.

resigned While I'm going to follow the matter of the Congress (by the Genoese in a nutshell we can say all musse ) I open the book and I'll notice the Curriculum Vitae of the speakers.
A true wonder. So on and so forth. Headlines on cue, references to throttle and, above all, a series of bullshit foul.

Apart from the number of children of fathers who have been found by recent graduates "Directors of the London branch" or a "Master's at San Diego University report some beads that moved me:

• Member of Mensa - the worldwide association of people with high IQ - (I swear, it says so!)
• He worked as an Disruptive Innovator " (s Sticazzi!)
• I know under the pseudonym of "1.0" (but fuck it!)
• E 'my idea to give a voice (speech content) to the websites (and how not!)
• In 1996, realized the first virtual currency in the world "EnergyBank" (ah Crikey!)
• In 2007, the press produce TuoVideo defined the Italian YouTube (Ah ah ah ah!)
• I'm interested in jazz and French letterattura (but must go to work!)

As I read the knowledge that the people who write this shit and then make career money to mount such a bitch makes me that leads me to quickly finish the reading before having to get their hands on someone. It's the time

dell'agognato lunch. Unfortunately there is a buffet is served at the table but preventing looting of classic dishes made of pasta, meat, chips, croquettes and pickled vegetables all mixed together. I find myself at a table where they speak of work. I try some sort but I am soon stopped fooling around type "Peter, you're shut up here we are serious people and we talk about business ". Resigned, I drink five glasses of white to tackle the afternoon.

The conference again and now my level of attention is the same as I watch a Formula 1 Grand Prix. Apparent death.
Spend an indefinite sentence and that alone sums up the true intellectual depth of the speakers: "Even the sad museums can be enhanced by this technology of Digital Signage", I recover and I realize that I have to run the station. I just have time to buy a book on the theme of the conference so you can tell something about my head when I ask the inevitable guide to what they said.
I take my bag and I spin it.

Another profitable day on the marketing man has passed.

polonegativo

Tvcenter Stopped Working Vista

sales vs marketing


The people who - like me and my colleagues - working in marketing are often subject to an identity crisis.

Mainly I think (rightly) why do not we do a shit. But just a dick. We do not sell (spend), do not build (heaven forbid), just talking about something that goes beyond the technical operation of the mouse there is the bubble in the nose, do not do accounts, etc. etc.. They told me that we add value but I do not think you understand what it is and especially loved to what.

However, as in each sub-culture that respects, we live and have our own identity through our nemesis, our anti-hero. Don Camillo quarreled with Peppone, Spank it was leading with Torakichi, Rocky Apollo Creed, Clubber Lang, Ivan Drago and some of his children.

Although we feel very hated by all our colleagues, our opponents are commercial in nature.

The commercial mixed blessing of our function. The company's commercial external calls us is our best friend, is forced to listen, to hear our complaints, we remember what we like, what we are passionate about and laughing with us. They are our outlet sui soprusi che subiamo quotidianamente.

Altre volte però non ci lasciano vivere, ci telefonano mentre siamo concentrati compiliamo un excel di 3.500 righe, camuffano il numero, insistono, minacciano e litigano.

Ieri sono stato a una fiera di settore e ho avuto modo di parlare con diversi commerciali che si aggiravano tra gli stand con sorrisi smaglianti e una pila di biglietti da visita che utilizzavano come stelline ninja.

È stata per me una giornata ricca di soddisfazione professionale per cui mi pregio di riportare qualche stralcio di conversazione.

Specializzazione

Comm.: Carissimo, tutto bene?
Billy: Si grazie, tu?
Comm. Bene, benissimo, as you know I changed my company (extending a business card)
Billy: Ah .. yeah, right .. remember. What do you sell now?
Comm Everything from buy me something.


Competition

Comm X: As I said then we sell the product with only 4 or 5 co-sponsors present, not how the company Y. We hold to our users, we do not want an overflow of information and create a bad mood, you follow me?
Billy: I see. And how many co-sponsors are using the company Y?
Comm X: 6 ...

A little 'confused on what should be my motivation to purchase the business of the company ran into Y.

Billy (ironically) .. And then they told me that they said six sponsors are too many and I have proposed Comm 5
Y (not taking irony): well look at this aspect do not worry. We thought of a contest where no company who will co-sponsor. I call it the "total fraud." Interested?
Billy: This year I finished the budget. Maybe next year ...

Captatio benevolentiae

Billy .... and for these reasons, I'd be interested in a product with performance.
Comm: oh sure! All interested in the products performance, but if we plan porn sites people complain
Billy: well, you see ..
Comm: What then look at the people watching porn are those like me. What they buy your products.



subject to our mood swings, direct and trivial, war machines steel we love our business!

Billy H.